How the POWER of OBSERVATION made me a better PLAYER


“I learned to observe the world around me, and to note what I saw”
― Margaret Mead

In 5th grade there was two classes. One was for the advanced “nerdy” kids and the other was for the regular kids.

I was part of the advanced class which was taught at a faster pace.

None of that mattered when it came to P.E. class as the regular kids would beat us every time.

Since the advanced class was filled with nerds, naturally the regular class was filled with the jocks and meatheads to be.

All school year the rival class would beat us, P.E. was fun, it was wasn’t that serious but I finally got tired of losing.

Ben and Jerry were clearly the most athletic kids of the bunch as they would kick the ball to the fence nearly every time. It was easy to accept that they were physically superior to the rest of the kids.

I wanted to win.

There had to be a way.

I would kick the ball as hard as I could, barely kicking it over second base. WHY?

Ben came up to bat. The P.E. coached pitched the ball and

Ben ran up to the ball striking it 3, 4 steps in front the batters box, sending the ball towards the fence.

My initial reaction was that he was CHEATING!

The RULES state that you have to kick the ball within the batters box.

Jerry is next at bat. The coach pitches.

Again he runs up to the ball, kicking it 3, 4 steps in front of the batters box.

It started to make sense, no wonder they where hitting the bar so far. All the other kids were kicking the ball from a standing position within the batters box.

The inning was over and it was finally my turn at bat.

The coach pitched, I ran out the box and kicked the shit out of the ball. The kids in my class were like WHOA as the ball sailed over the defense. Nobody had hit the ball that far besides Ben and Jerry.

There is a batters box for a reason and the RULES state that you have to hit the ball within the box but it was really a limiting belief!

I expected to get scolded for hitting the ball outside the box, but when I didn’t, I remember the feeling of liberation. I was no longer limited to pop fly’s, I had new found strength.

Football was no different. Ben and Jerry would dominate. I asked why.

As I observed them play the game. I noticed that they only ran streaks, no slants, no curl routes, no flag routes. It was always the deep ball and if the defense didn’t keep up it was an automatic touchdown.

My classmates would run 5-10 yards and turn around.

I started running streaks and coach delivered the bombs. We started to win games and my rivals started to respect me.  I started to get double teamed and eventually triple teamed. My confidence grew as I became the GO TO MAN. It wasn’t that I became this athletic beast over night it was just that I was playing to win and became the only threat for my team.

With the game being 4th and goal my class mates would run curl routes, while I was streaking for the end zone, the choice was easy.

Looking back at it, I realize that once again limiting beliefs held my classmates back. As kids we could only through the (junior) football 20 yards, so all we ever ran was within 10 yards. We put that limiting belief to our coach.

Ben and Jerry knew that a grown as man could launch a junior football down the field and never limited themselves.

With football and kickball I realized that there was a pattern to scoring.


Fast forwarding into the future. I would go to bars and clubs, with the intent of meeting women. I had even read the “rules to the game” equipping myself with a utility belt of tricks, gimmicks, routines and openers. I tried and tried, but in the end I would always go home alone. Failing to score.

So many times I wanted to give up but I would observe complete strangers hook up and leave the venue together. I had witnessed my male friends meet and hook up with women. Even though they were naturals that couldn’t break down what they did in technical terms. They were hooking up.

I could not deny that it was possible to meet someone in a night club and have sex with them within a weeks time, sometimes the same night.

After going through so many routines, I finally decided to sit back and OBSERVE. I would see guys approach and fail all the time but I would take special note of the guys who would approach and succeed.

I have always been a fan of what works! I would break down the successful  interactions I had witnessed in an attempt to figure out why they were successful. After a while I would start to notice patterns.

While the fundamentals of seduction don’t change.

Every Country,State,City,Venue has a certain “vibe/culture” to them.

Every Culture has an influence on gender roles, this was studied by Margaret Mead.

Her observations reveal how cultures form and shape gender roles; males and females become what their cultures make them.

Clearly every culture is influenced by their environment.


This is the fundamental problem with pick-up information online.  Besides the fact that 90% of the information online is just keyboard jockeys regurgitating BS. The 10% of guys who really go out and experience life are giving information from their point of view, From their PART OF THE WORLD.

So even if a reputable dating coach tells you how easy it was for him to get some BANG in Bangcock or score poosy in paradise. None of that matters if you don’t get out your house and observe the culture around you.

Once again the fundamentals of fishing don’t change.

But fishing at your nearest river,lake,pond,ocean, is different from my local watering hole.

If you pay attention and are vigilant. You will be able to notice the patterns of success.

You just have too…

get out the fucking house and stop being a keyboard jockey



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josh bar

Josh Bar is a Beer Binging Basketball Blogger who likes to travel the world and Bang Bitches

  • Nice, I see the analytical side when it comes to the game. When you’re observant, you typically don’t drink correct? Or can you do it and still drink?

    • I can do it and still drink but the more I drink the more i miss. When I first stsrted going out 19 20 years old I couldn’t drink in the clubs,so I had tons of sober practice already.